WHAT’S CARE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

On October 9th, 2024, just a few short weeks ago, I lost my grandmother. It was one of the worst things that has ever happened to me. My grandmother was truly an angel on earth, and losing her hurt more than anything. My heart was breaking, but the endless support I received from those around me slowly began to help me heal. The systems in my life allowed me to rest, with support and care coming from all directions. Everyone around me showed their love and compassion, giving me the comfort I needed to heal. I’m not someone who typically rests. I live a chaotic life but these systems didn’t just allow me; they forced me to stop and feel my emotions and take time to care for my mental and physical health. Usually, I look for distractions when life gets hard, avoiding confronting things head-on. However, this time was different. I had to take time to process, heal, and care for myself. From family and friends to work and school, I was met with unwavering love and support. I was given the space and comfort to grieve and heal at my own pace.

My family held each other closer and helped lift each other up. We stood strong together, offering shoulders to lean on. Distant relatives flew in, bringing love and support from all over. Like most families, mine can be a bit chaotic and unhinged at times, but in moments like these, we rallied and became each other’s strength during this time of sadness. As grandchildren myself, my brother, and my three cousins we truly supported one another, holding tissues when we cried, wiping away tears, and reflecting on how much Grandma would have loved to see her five grandbabies showing up for each other.

At work, my colleagues took everything off my plate without me even having to ask. Fall is our busiest time in admissions, and they know me well enough to understand that I would have tried to push through. But they didn’t let me. They insisted I take time off to rest and heal, covering my travel and ensuring everything was handled. Each one of them called to check in, reminding me to focus on myself. Their support allowed me to step away during the busiest season, and for the first time, I was able to breathe amidst the chaos.

My friends are the most beautiful souls in this world. They showered me with love and prayers. I’m not someone who breaks easily, and my friends know this. So when they saw
and heard what had happened, they sprang into action like superheroes, providing me with a safe space to be vulnerable and to feel my emotions. Friends who live nearby came to support my family, and those who live farther away called not just me but also my mom and aunt. Some even sent care packages.

Lastly, there’s my wonderful partner, Ben. Throughout my life, I’ve always had to be strong. I’ve had to carry burdens that were far too heavy. I never shared the weight of life’s struggles with another person until Ben. He was the reason I was able to get through this. He did everything, not just for me but for my family as well. Even the small things, like holding my phone because dresses don’t have pockets, or reminding me to eat when I didn’t feel like it because I was sad. So often, I’ve had to act like a parent to my cousins, but Ben took on that role for me so I could focus on my own healing. He held my cousins as they cried and took care of each one of us. For once, I was able to share the responsibility of caring for my family with someone else, and I’m so grateful for that.

The systems I have around me made me feel so safe and cared for. I can only hope that everyone feels the love and support that I have. The people and environments that I am in are so amazing. I want the world to feel this safe with people. Having such a strong support system made is easier to care for myself.